Tuesday, September 29, 2009

10 reasons to love men

1. Men Know Stuff. It is possible to have absolutely fascinating conversations with men because each and every one of them has studied a particular subject since birth and is a world expert on it. Whether it's pizza franchises or the internal workings of a Ferrari, men can wax lyrical on the subject for hours and never bore you. They are not competing with you or trying to put you down while talking upon this subject - they are just grateful to have an interested listener. This is unlike women who mostly talk about other people (which means you, when you are not in the room), shoes and handbags, or even worse babies. For a woman that likes to enagage in conversation or has an inquiring mind a man's conversation is not only preferable but downright irresistible.

2. Men Don't Care. But in a good way ... they don't care if you are wearing the latest fashion (unless they are French or Italian), had your hair cut last week or last year, if your lefgs were shaved this morning or what labels you have on. They don't know what the latest fashion is, so why should they care? They like women first thing in the morning, without make-up - and preferably without clothes. They don't like all the trappings of so-called femininity and all that work that goes into making one look fabulous. They like to look at other women who have put in all the work but they basically like women because they are women. It's just the way they are wired.

3. Men Are Not Bitchy. This does need to be qualified because some men are much bitchier than women could ever be! I went to a co-ed school and learnt this the hard way. But as a rule, what you see is what you get. Men are incredibly straightforward about what they like and what they want. Women tend to look you up and down surreptitiously most of the time, or slip in snide comments which are under the radar-bitchy or a backhanded compliment. You never know when that knife is going to land up in your back. Of course, the male bitches do exactly the same (even when they are straight) but they tend to be much more in your face about it.

4. Men Are Appreciative. They eat things cold out of the fridge sometimes. Something that you have cooked for them. Which they don't warm up. They really don't mind. They like it when you do things for them.

5. Men Don't Bear Grudges. Again, this does need to be qualified, as there are some ex-boyfriend, Sicilian mafia bosses out there who never forget. But men can get on each other's nerves, have the most terrible fight, beat the bejasus out of each other and then it's all over. They don't keep on bringing stuff up years later and niggling away about what so-and-so did to them in Grade Four or the way that your mother looks at them sometimes so they just know she hates their guts. Fisticuffs sort out everything for men. Weird, huh?

6. What You See Is What You Get. Women can generally read men like a book, we know when they are bringing out the heavy charm artillery, and exactly what they want. This is an endearing quality in men. Otherwise they would all be Ted Bundy. They speak their minds and get to the point. There is no sub-text.

7. They Are Different. They are the opposite of what you are. Which is their greatest attribute. Do they have any idea what a turn-on this is?

8. Men are Not La-Di-Dah. They don't do tea parties with pretty doilies or care about what the wedding invitations look like. They care about the basics, about the essence of life's important things. They couldn't care bollocks about who wears what and who was there or even if they were there. They cut to the chase.

9. They are the Protectors. This is not the same as being nurturing although sometimes it can be. Somewhere deep, deep down inside a really good man the caveman genes are alive and well and all he wants is his females safe inside the cave with him, club in hand, at the door. If that is not an option he will open doors, fix stuffaround the house, carry heavy things for you and glare at other men who pay you attention, or threaten to burn your former place of employment down. This can be a little trying sometimes but we have to wear a look of admiration at all times.

10. Men Have Unconditional Love. It's hard for a self-hating female to get her head around but sometimes a man just loves you, warts and all. If you are very lucky he will do this for the next 50 to 60 years that he spends with you, regardless of sickness, abject poverty, middle through to old age, and your own impossible personality which no one else likes. This must make him one of God's greatest creations.

No comments: